


Stick It You Know Where

by McShipIt



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McShipIt/pseuds/McShipIt
Summary: They’ve been comfortably living in denial for years. Steve’s had enough.





	Stick It You Know Where

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this, but I blame [bookjunkie1975](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookjunkie1975/pseuds/bookjunkie1975). Thank you for the beta read!

He has them in the worst kind of situation. Eight years of chasing the worst of the worst, keeping the Island safe, and their last minutes on this earth are going to be in Jersey. There’s nothing Steve can do about it. He’s trussed up like a gift-wrapped package for a dominatrix and Danny, who’s plastered to his front, fares no better. All they need is the latex and some ball gags and they’d be living the kink dream.

“The wedding was nice,” Steve says, to distract Danny before he begins his inevitable diatribe.

“I can’t believe you,” Danny says, voice muffled against Steve’s sweaty T-shirt.

“Me? How do you figure, Danny?”

“How many times have I gone home to Jersey since moving to Hawaii? How many times, Steven?”

“Is this a rhetorical question or do you want me to answer?”

“I don’t need you to answer because for all the times I’ve gone home, not once, I tell you, not once has anything remotely dangerous happened to me.”

“So, this is my fault?”

“Yes, I’m saying this is your fault. Tell me, who when they’re on vacation, gets caught up in a Colombian drug cartel in Jersey? Jersey, Steven! I can deal with the crime bosses here, those I can handle. I have no issues taking down the families on the East Coast. What I can’t handle is Marco Reyes’ predecessor, who just so happens to be on another level altogether than Reyes, setting up operation in my home state and you finding out about it like some goddamn bloodhound!”

When it’s boiled down to that, Steve sees the irony. It’s rather absurd if it isn’t so painfully tragic that his ego caused their past to catch up to them in Jersey of all places.

“Are you finished?”

“No!” Danny yells. “I am not finished! I can’t handle you going all half-cocked, not knowing exactly what we’re dealing with, stepping on all kinds of jurisdictional toes and doing it without backup!”

“For the record, I was not half-cocked. I think it’s fair to say I’ve never been half-cocked.”

“Oh, my god. You are insane. This is it. I’ve had it. You’re worried about your dick size and I’m going to die strapped to your chest, hating you, and no one will ever know.”

Steve's heard this argument so many times he should have a recording on his phone to save Danny the trouble. If he could say he hates him with actual conviction, Steve might begin to believe him.

“No one will know you hate me?” he asks, smiling, because this is what they do in the face of danger. “I’m sure out of everything you managed to spill from your mouth in the span of twenty seconds, that’s the only lie you told.”

Danny takes a deep breath. The warmth spreads across Steve’s chest and it goes straight down his spine to other unmentionable places.

“I hate you.” Danny tries to shake his head, but the way they’re tied up it’s impossible. “I really, really do.”

“No, you don’t, Danno.”

Danny stops wriggling, much to Steve’s relief and dismay. They dangle upside down, twirling infinitely slowly from Danny’s struggles.

“You haven’t called me that in a while,” Danny says, clearing his throat.

“You said you didn’t like it.”

“When has that ever stopped you? _Now_ you grow a conscience.”

Steve tries his ropes one more time, if only to get Danny to shut up, but each time he moves, the ropes tighten, and his fingers are going numb from his efforts. They might die here, that was one thing Danny did get right. He _had_ rushed in, too cocky and too impatient to prove himself to Danny in Jersey. It’s going to be the end of them, and Danny’s family will never forgive Steve.

After lots of browbeating from Clara, Steve had finally agreed to take the long trek to Jersey for Bridget’s second wedding, except it was more than he bargained for. He was going stir crazy in the Williams’ household, tired of the scrutiny from Danny's extended family wondering what his relationship with Danny really was. And now, they were stuck in this mess because of him, and his first time in the Garden State will be his last.

He should apologize to Danny, but it isn’t going to do them any good. He did happen upon this drug operation by chance. Well, chance, and his obsession of staying in shape and ahead of the radiation poisoning. He was up and out of the Williams’ home before dawn for a brisk, fall run, which took him near the dockyards and along the water where he just happened to watch a lot of hardware being offloaded and a lot of crates being moved on to a boat. It screamed of illegal activity, and surprisingly, from what Steve could tell after an hour of observation, there were only four men guarding the small vessel. They’d endured much worse odds than that.

At least he waited until the sun was up to call Danny. He should be grateful for that, and when Danny showed up armed and ready as per Steve’s request, they went in like they always did, having each other’s back, except this time, there were too many backs surrounding their backs.

The apology is on the tip of Steve’s tongue, but there are so many other things he needs to say.

“Danny,” Steve says.

“What?” he answers, sharp and annoyed.

“Thanks for bringing me to Jersey.”

“Seriously, Steve? That’s what you have to say to me? Where’s my apology and where’s the, ‘don’t worry, Danny, my ninja skills will get us out of these ropes.’ Where’s that?”

“I’ve never really been into bondage.”

“You’ve never been into...oh, that’s funny. You’re a riot.” Danny starts his high-pitched giggle, the one he does when he’s scared and can’t hold it together. “Is there nothing else you want to say to me?”

“Yeah. Yes, there is.” Steve clears his throat, but Danny is still giggling, squirming against him and he closes his eyes for a few breaths before Danny discovers his surprise ahead of schedule.

“We’ve been dancing around this thing between us for a long time,” Steve says with his eyes still closed, and when the words are out, Danny goes motionless, quiet as though he isn’t breathing.

“What thing?” Danny says, low and serious.

“You know what thing. The _thing_.” He would roll his eyes at Danny if he could see them.

“I think I’m going to need to hear you say it, Steven, because what it sounds like you’re saying is something that’s not really possible. You’re forgetting one important thing."

“And what’s that?” Steve truly has no idea where Danny's head is at. As far as he’s concerned, after all these years there’s nothing or no one keeping them from pursuing this other than themselves.

“Neither of us are into men, last time I checked,” Danny says.

That’s just semantics, Steve thinks. “You’re into me, though.” He smiles down—or maybe it’s up if they're hanging upside down—at Danny. “And don’t say you’re not.” Steve manages to shift his body a minuscule amount, but it’s enough to know Danny’s somewhat hard against his thigh. “That has to count for something, right?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it ‘into you’ so much as we spend every waking moment together, so I don’t have anyone else in my life to think about.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No,” Danny sighs, “no, I don’t.”

“Then you’re...” Steve lets his words trail off, not exactly sure what he is asking, or what he wants to ask Danny, or even if he wants an answer. There is no way he misread the signs over the last few months, especially after Danny almost died, and even if he has, he isn’t going to end this day without Danny knowing how he feels about him, or what he wants from him. He loves Danny and wants everything that comes with it. “So? You’re on-board?” he settles on saying, hoping he’s encompassing all of it.

“On-board?” Danny squawks, and to be honest Steve is expecting the reaction. “Classy, Steven. No wonder there’s no one in your life.”

“You are, though, and you haven’t answered my question.”

“You are so frustrating, you know that?” Danny grunts just how embittered he is. It must be driving him crazy to have his hands strapped to his sides. “Do I trust you more than anyone in my life? Absolutely. Even my own mother, that schemer. Do you make me laugh? Sure, yeah. Do you drive me crazy? Hell, yes. Are you always at the top of my thoughts? Most of the time I don’t have a choice, but yes. You're always there along with Grace and Charlie.” His voice softens a little, and Steve waits for him to finish his point because he knows it’s coming and it’ll be good whatever it is. “Do I love you? Yes. God, help me, yes, I do. But do I want you to stick your dick up my ass? I’m not so sure.”

Steve chokes on Danny’s choice of words. That’s him though, straight to the point after a long roundabout way, and he loves him for it and loves everything that’s attached to that love.

“You could stick your dick up my ass?”

“What?” Danny fights against the ropes, swinging them in the other direction. “Are you kidding me, right now?”

“I’m just saying, if that’s what’s holding you back, we can work around it.”

“You are unbelievable, you know that?” Danny says.

“Look, I love you, man. There’s no one else who even comes close for me. We have every part of a working relationship, except one very important part. When I think about the future, you’re always in it, right beside me. I want that all the time, especially in my bed. You’re it for me, Danny. And if I’m going to get sick—”

Danny starts to protest, shifting his head to Steve’s side. “Don't. Don't say it.”

“If I’m going to get sick,” Steve stops him before he starts posturing again, “then I don’t want to waste any more time. If you don’t want this, don’t want to try, I understand. I’ll take you in whatever capacity you’re willing to give me. I’m just hoping for more, all right? If that’s not what you see when you envision the future, then we’ll keep going like we’ve been going. No harm. No foul.”

He’s not sure how he’ll do that, but he won’t lose Danny over this, he can’t, so if it means he buries his feelings deep in the denial pool he’s been swimming in, then he will.

“Oh, god, we really are going to die. You wouldn’t be saying this to me if you thought there was the slightest chance of us living through this. This is so not fair.” Danny’s defeat plays with his heartstrings, tugging at them like so many times in their relationship.

“We’re not going to die,” he says, and he means it, or hopes he sounds like he means it.

“Then why would you say all those things to me?”

“Because I’m tired of hiding how I feel about you!” Steve yells, and it comes out without thinking.

Danny is quiet. Steve can hear him breathing through his nose—his gritted teeth and anger breathing.

“Danny,” Steve says.

“Shut up, would you? I’m thinking, okay? This is a lot to take in, you know with the dying and confession time. There’ll be a lot of people affected by this, not just us.”

“Our deaths, or...”

“Steven.”

“No one really matters except Grace and Charlie. You know I love them like they’re my own. I would never do anything to hurt them. Charlie might be a little young, but Grace, we can talk to her together. She’ll understand.”

“Are you kidding me? Grace wishes we were together. I hear it all the time. She tells her friends she can’t go out because she has to have dinner with her dad and his ‘partner’ and I know what she’s insinuating, and exactly how her friends take it.”

It’s a shock to Steve, but a pleasant one that only affirms this is right between them.

“And you know what?” Danny says. “I’ve never corrected her. Because it’s never occurred to me I should.”

“What are you saying?”

“You’re right. This is right, but it doesn’t mean I’m not terrified, and it doesn’t mean I’m going to suck your cock like a champ, either. But I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it. This would all be new to me.”

“To me, too.”

“You mean, you never, you know, in the navy? Dark corner of a submarine?”

Steve tries to shrug but can’t. “Couple of quick hand-jobs here and there to relieve some stress, but that’s it.”

“Huh.”

“What does that mean?” It’s Steve’s turn to be indignant.

“I don’t know, you just seem comfortable in your skin. And you did say I could stick my dick in you not five minutes ago.”

“Well, I haven’t, all right?”

“Okay, Mr. Sensitive. Relax.” After a few beats, Danny asks, “What do you think it’ll be like?”

“Sex?” Steve asks. “Or giving a blowjob? I bet you’d be terrible at it.”

“Why would you say that? That is a terrible thing to say to someone if you’re hoping they’ll suck your cock. Why do you think that?”

“I doubt you could shut up long enough to, you know...”

“Such a funny guy. Hilarious. I’ll have you know my mouth is a thing of wonder.”

“Yeah, it is.” Steve chuckles, pushing the image of Danny on his knees out of his mind. That mouth and those blue eyes looking up at him, and he’d bet his house Danny is a dirty talker.

“Wouldn’t you like to find out,” Danny says low and seductive but Steve's not falling for it, not yet, anyway.

“That’s the whole point of this endless conversation that started last year.”

“Well, if you would let me think, then I could give you an answer!”

Steve wants to snap back that it’s not like he can go anywhere, but he doesn’t want to argue with Danny, not really. He wants to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him to make him shut up with his tongue.

They’re silent for some time, just taking a few more twirls around the room. The blood rushing to Steve’s head is making his temples throb. The blood vessels near his eyes feel ready to burst. There’s too much weight between the two of them, and the ropes are pinching everywhere.

“This may bring Kono home,” Danny quietly says after he’s had some time to contemplate.

Steve barks out a laugh, the ropes constricting his chest. “I think you may be right.”

“Well, if our being together in that kind of way will bring her home, who are we to prevent that?” The smile in Danny’s voice warms Steve, lighting that spark of hope inside him. “We should give it a try, you know, for Adam. He misses her. It’s tearing him apart.”

Steve’s pulse quickens. His blood rushes through his body, minus his hands, because they’ve rotted off due to the lack of circulation. “For Adam, then?”

“And Grace. Wouldn’t want her to be made a liar.”

“Of course. She's a good kid. So, we do this for her reputation, then.”

“Exactly.” Danny squirms, trying to angle himself so he can see Steve. “I think you should kiss me, just to make sure, you know?”

“I can do that.” Steve leans in, tucking his chin to his chest to try to reach Danny’s mouth. Danny wiggles, stretching his neck up to Steve, but it’s no use, they’re a mere inch away but can get no closer.

“Figures,” Danny says. “You finally come to your senses after all these years and you can't even act on your impulses.”

Steve grunts in frustration. He pulls against the ropes until they're cutting into his skin, and he can feel they’re wet with blood from his efforts.

“Really? Now he makes the effort?” Danny says, pushing his knee into Steve’s thigh. “Babe, stop. Stop. I’d like you whole and intact if you’re going to stick it in me.”

Steve stills, a little unclear as to what Danny just said. “I thought it was going to be the other way around?”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’ll talk me into it, just like everything else in our pathetic lives.”

“Huh,” Steve grunts, amused by Danny's truth. “Like skydiving.”

“This is so not like the skydiving!”

“But you loved it.”

“No. No, I did not.”

“Then what you're saying is you'll love this.”

“How should I know?” Danny says, and he's reached the apex of a typical Danny tirade. If his arms were free he might be ready to hit Steve, but since he's safe from Danny's fists, he pokes a little harder.

“But you love sex.”

“Of course I love sex, Steven. What man doesn’t?”

“It can’t be that different. The end result is the same, right?” Steve’s getting hard just thinking about all the things he wants to try with Danny. “It’ll be fun learning.”

“Just kill me now. Please. I beg you to put me out of my misery.”

The thing is, they've never been the kind of guys who talk about sex and relationships. They just never shared the details, and maybe it's because neither wanted to hear the other was fucking someone when they should be fucking each other.

“Doesn’t matter, though. We’re going to die and never even have a kiss,” Danny says.

“That’s not happening,” Steve says, and his voice gains an edge he remembers. It’s the grenades on metal cages voice, the closed door and no cameras interrogation one, and the shark infested water hardened edge. It’s the one that was hanging from a chain in North Korea and it’s been taking a step back, softening this last year to let the rookies have their time. It's back, though, and Danny recognizes it, too.

“There's my boy,” Danny says, and his eyes are shining with his smile.

The first step is to get a hand free, so he can get them off this hook and onto solid ground. If he has to shred his wrists to do it, he will if it means getting that kiss from Danny. The blood helps, acting as a lubricant, letting him twist his hand back and forth. It's like sandpaper though, rubbing the skin off and will more than likely leave scars, but what's a few more to not have to die today?

He clenches his teeth until his jaw hurts, and those blood vessels around his eyes have definitely popped. He'll have purple dots all over his face for days once they get out of here. He takes hold of his thumb, and with one deep breath he snaps it with a resounding crack.

“Whoa!” Danny yells. “What the hell was that?”

“Dislocated my thumb,” he says, panting through the pain.

“Are you nuts? What am I saying, of course you're nuts. And I'm nuts for wanting to have a relationship with you.”

“We’re getting out of here, Danny.”

“I believe you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re certifiable.”

Steve wriggles his hand and it gives under one of the ropes but not enough. He reaches for his other thumb and takes a few deep breaths.

“Would you just stop and listen before you rip your own arm off?” Danny yells. “Please!”

Steve pauses, holding his breath until he hears cars and shouts coming from outside the building.

“Do you honestly think I’d come here on your hunch without calling this in to a buddy of mine on the force?” Danny says, and his voice is riddled with scorn. “I know you, Steve. I know you so well, that I anticipated this. Well, not the hanging upside down strapped to your chest thing, but something like it, at least I hoped for it instead of them just shooting us.”

Steve starts to laugh, because of course Danny has his back. He always has.

“You schmuck,” Danny says, laughing along with him and that high-pitched giggle surfaces and gets to Steve, sitting right in the center of his chest, burning a hole that will never heal. He'll always remember this moment because it's fucking ridiculous. This is not how he imagined confessing to Danny, but it reaffirms what he's always told Steve: He's the luckiest bastard on the planet.

The firepower outside is astounding and it’s odd to be on the other side of it. He wonders if this is how their confrontations go. He’s usually in the thick of it, but surely, they’re not this long.

“Looks like we’re going to get that kiss,” Danny says.

“They’re taking their sweet time, aren’t they?” Steve’s thumb is throbbing now, and his patience is running thin.

“We’ve waited eight years, I think we can wait a few more minutes.”

“It’s not just the kiss I want.”

“If you think you’re sticking it in me while we’re in Jersey, you have another think coming.”

They have three more days in Jersey before they head back home. Steve sure as hell isn’t waiting that long to get his hands on Danny. As soon as they get out of here, he’s packing up their bags, moving them out of Danny’s parents’ home and into a hotel. He’ll even pay for it and all the room service they want so they don’t have to leave the bed for the next three days.

“I’m sure I can change your mind.”

“No. No. I will not give my sisters and my mother the satisfaction of knowing we’re fucking.”

Steve scoffs. “They already think we are.”

“There’s a difference in them thinking we are, and them knowing we are.”

Steve agrees with that logic, but Danny isn’t considering what will happen for the rest of their lives. At some point they’ll need to come clean, and it might as well be now if it means getting Danny naked. He’ll suffer through a few more personal questions and inappropriate comments, he’ll endure it all and so will Danny. He’ll come around to Steve’s way of thinking as soon as he gets his lips on Danny’s mouth. He’ll win this.

“We’re not waiting four more days until we’re home,” Steve says.

“Yes, we are.”

“What about the jet lag?”

“Then we’ll deal with it!” Danny yells.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous?” Danny says, trying to lift his chin to get a proper look at Steve. “You’re arguing about when we’re going to have sex. If you would please shut up, just this once in your life and let me win an argument, I’ll let you bend me over any way you want when we’re in the comforts of your bed.”

He’ll shut up to appease Danny, make him think he’s won, but all bets are off once they’re free. His adrenaline is pumping and there’s only one way to come down off this high.

“Deal,” he says.

“Deal? That’s it? Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you’re a paranoid freak of nature.”

“But you love me.” Danny meets his eyes, and Steve can tell he’s already won this battle. He’s looking forward to years of many more.

“Yeah, Danno. Yeah, I do.”

 

 


End file.
